Dating is SO Complicated.com

Archive for May, 2009

Ever since I finish writing my first ebook draft “Phase 1: Attraction” on how to attract men within seconds (launching soon), until this point of time, I have heard many people say things such as “I don’t want to change myself to attract a guy…it doesn’t worth it”. Or “The best way to attract men is be yourself because it works in the long run”. Now for some of you that have heard or say these lines before, I have got one important question for you.

How do you define being yourself?

Do you define who you are, or do others define who you are so that as you gradually change over time you start hearing complaints about you no longer being yourself. ‘Yourself’ includes your hobby, personality, good and bad traits about you, your natural appearance, and finally things about you that you simply cannot change.

What I am saying is that as long as you have control over it, it is not a part of ‘yourself’. For example, if normally you wear sloppy and casual clothing, no one can complain that you are not being yourself if you decide to wear something neater and nicer especially to attract men. That sloppy and casual clothing is not you; it’s just your trademark. Now if changing that gives you 50% more chance to get the next guy you see, why not? Clear as mud?

I know that some other books on how to attract men that you might or might not have read in the past are talking about changing yourself. Some books will tell you to change your hobby to adapt to the guy’s hobby. For example, pick up a hobby of ‘watching football while drinking beer’. Okay, I must agree with you. That IS trying to change yourself.

In my ebook “Phase 1: Attraction” my personal aim is certainly not about to teach you to become ‘someone else’. What I am trying to teach you is HOW to communicate yourself the ATTRACTIVE way. And if you already know, ‘communicate’ includes all three points: body language, tone of voice and words.

For example, if a guy asks you “What’s your hobby?”, you can answer “Reading!” the way a normal girl would or you can answer “Why do you want to know?” the way an attractive girl would. Now
I tell you that no matter how you answer that question it wouldn’t change your hobby at all.
You still like reading, you just change the way you communicate to the guy ABOUT your hobby. You simply change the way you attract men in general.

With that in mind, let’s continue. If you are reluctant to change the way you stand because you THINK it’s changing ‘yourself’, let me tell you this. Standing like a slouch is not ‘yourself’. It is a bad habit you have. You are still the girl with good personality, with the bright personality, but the old ‘You’, had a bad habit of standing up like a slouch/depressed girl. Plus, I don’t think you can attract any man slouching like that so come on girl, stand up!

To make it clearer to you, when you stand like a slouch, you look depressed. Does it mean you are depressed? NO! It just means that you have this habit of standing up like a depressed girl, and believe me that is the message you’re sending out.

So what can you do? Just change the way you stand and sit down.

Another thing, if I tell you to change your tone of voice. Don’t think that you have to put on a ‘voice’ every time you’re talking to an attractive guy and that you’re going to go back to your old tone of voice after a while. Your tone of voice is not part of yourself. It’s how you are used to talk. It’s the way you are used to communicate yourself. What you want is a little ‘make up’ for your voice such as talking slower and clearer. A make up on your voice just makes you SOUND…sexier. This rings to a man’s ear and work wonders to attract men out there. It’s that simple.

Oh, by the way, if you practice putting on nice voice for some time, you’re going to ‘change’ and this change is inevitable. Meaning that you don’t have to even put on a’voice’ next time you are talking to other people. It just becomes part of you (The same you with a better habit).

In conclusion, you are simply not acting when you are putting ‘pick up guys’ information to practice. Fixing your standing and sitting position is not acting. Fixing your ‘too high’ voice is not acting. It just fixes your bad habits altogether into a better habit that ACTUALLY makes you sexier to make it waaay easier to attract men out there. (Why not do it?)

Here’s some dating trends which has been circulating in modern dating society.. What do you think?

1. M: commitment phobes
– F: are unwilling to settle for 2nd best.

2. M: players
– F : serial monogamists.

3. M: enjoy casual sex
– F : enjoy casual sex but only up till wanting a commitment and if he thought they both wanted just to enjoy casual sex and doesn’t want a commitment. He is (apparently) always using her and she is unable to enjoy casual sex, until she moves on to repeat the cycle with the next guy (refer to 1 & 2)

4. M: Face rejection earlier (no to a date), far more often than women and without reason.
– F: Have difficulty accepting rejection. After a few dates if he isn’t that into her & doesn’t ring, there is something wrong with him, NOT her.

5. M: Want bad women but only for sex, not a relationship.
– F: Women are attracted to.. and date bad boys then reject them too late because he doesn’t change.

6. M: If dating several women, is considered playing the field
– F: Is keeping her options open.

7. M: Lie
– F: Just don’t tell the whole truth (gag)

8. M: Can’t be trusted
– F: Change their minds easily

9. M: In surveys, on average, men have more sexual partners than women
– F: On average, women have fewer sexual partners than men (physically impossible the average is equal). So either men claim they had sex when they didn’t, or women claim they didn’t when they did.

10. If he falls in love too soon, he’s desperate (men have no emotions and it has to be extracted out of them under pressure)
– F: Women fall in love at 1st sight (love or lust)