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Archive for June, 2009

The rules of calling men in our lives? Oh yes there is! I know, it’s all too hard when we associate dating and games because when two people really click with each other, there should be NO dating games played whatsoever.

But what would happen when we all do it this way? what happen when women simply pick up the phone and start dialing men’s number whenever she feels like it? Not good. It’s not that calling men is a crime because imagine if men have the same rule like we do: “Do not call women”, what would happen?

Exactly, you will both miss an opportunity to create what can be a real good relationship. But why do you see many relationship books out there tell you NOT to call men first ESPECIALLY if you like him? Ok, there is probably a reason to that, and the reason is not that it will make the men less interested in you – a man wouldn’t lose interest just because you beat him to the punch with some of the callings right? But it will put you at risk of calling men who are not interested in you (and never have since the beginning).

So instead of making it so hard for you, here I will give you some guidelines on when you should actually hold back on calling him. (And for the purpose of this article, text messages and emails are counted the same way.) That’s right, to know when you simply should NOT call him will definitely help you relax, and it actually works. Here goes:

1. You should NOT call him again after an unanswered phone call. You don’t want to abuse his number, if you’ve called the man and he doesn’t answer, leave a text message – he may be busy. But if within considerable amount of time the text is not returned, then you should know where you stand i.e. he probably is not interested.

2. Even if he answers the phone, ask him whether or not he is free to talk, and do not call him again if he says he is busy. He should be the one who calls you back. This is to make sure he is not just using the word ‘busy’ as an excuse for not wanting to talk to you.

3. You should not call him too many times that it disturbs his daily routines. Do not call him to find out where he is, what he wants for dinner, or to simply check out on him making sure that he is where he told you he was going to be. That’s just possessive and it would be the fastest way to drive him away.

4. You should not call him out just to ‘say hi’ more than considerable amount of times in a day. Just-to-say-hi call should be limited to say…once a day? unless of course, it is reciprocated.

5. Do not call him everyday in the beginning of a courtship. Now this may seem like a ‘rule’, and it MAY be a rule, but you have to take into account that most guys have this in the back of their mind i.e. do not call the women every day. So unless you hold fire some of the days, you wouldn’t give him the chance to actually miss you.

6. When you feel lonely or desperate or having the worst pms of your life, do NOT call a man. Why calling men when you are feeling this way is prohibited? Simple answer is that it will show in your voice that you are lonely or desperate. The thing is, you may be feeling desperate ONLY at a particular time – the time when you call him. However, he may simply have the impression that you ARE desperate rather than thinking it was only for the short time. So if you feel desperate, start calling your girlfriends and catch up with them instead!

7. Do not call him if you know he is with the boys. Some girls really love to call men when they are out with their friends but as you know, men are not like women. They want to look cool and tough in front of their friends – and being lovey-dovey with a woman is not very manly. So chances are he will be very agitated and half acting (especially if you’ve just started seeing him) and you will feel insecure. (Knowing how women analyse every single move men make i.e. why did he sound distant today?)

8. Lastly, do not call him if you only want to discuss heavy things. Heavy things are best to discuss in person when his guard is down i.e. when he is with you ready to hear what you have to say rather than before he is handing over a very important presentation to his boss.

So ladies, calling men is definitely not a crime, but stay away from calling men who are not interested in you by remembering the eight points above. But just so that you know, when a relationship is right, it would seem so natural between you two that the initiation of text and calls become equal – and you won’t even need to keep track of it, let alone analyse it.

If you haven’t already, grab a copy of The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave – stop worrying about Calling Men. Find out more about how to be “That” girl.

Ladies, I am glad the question ‘how to become more attractive to men‘ came up. Quite a lot of women out there simply have no clue, or make no effort to be attractive to men and get what they want. They end up settling with second best or the next-one-that-comes-along. But, we have to be honest for a second and realise that most people (men AND women) are attracted to looks and general demeanor of the opposite sex in the beginning. This is what draws people in, basically what makes the long term relationship a possibility in the first place. So let’s start.

1. Losing weight and exercise.

I am not trying to be shallow and tell you that focusing on your looks department is the only way on how to become more attractive to men, but look, you are denying yourself by being defensive – asking men to like you for who you are inside out rather than being shallow or superficial. But think about it, it is actually quite practical and doable. Exercise and losing weight are two things that you CAN actually work on. It’s not skin colour, height or background.

You don’t have to be a size 8 or turn into Jessica Alba overnight (plastic surgery anyone?), but the fundamental of men is that they are quite a visual creature. I meant their attraction toward female is driven by the physical looks – at least at first. Also, because this is basically a fact that you simply can’t change, you might as well take the positive step of losing those excess weight to become more attractive to men, not to mention more confident everytime your mirror tell you: “Hey you look good today babe.”

2. Do not excessively talk to the point that the men tune out.

Listening to information is not too easy. Hearing is. When a man is interested at least in the beginning of the dating stage, he would be so interested in listening more about you and what you have to say. But giving him a five minute speech on who you are in an attempt to make sure he doesn’t miss knowing any of your good side is not how to become more attractive to men. In fact, it will do quite the opposite – men don’t like to sit there listening to 5-minute monologue to the point where he just tunes out. So hold yourself back and take a breath in between sentences. Silence is not always supposed to be awkward.

3. Do not INSTANTLY lose your life FOR him.

You currently have a life. You have friends, plans, jobs, hobbies, things that you regularly do, but why is it that many women drop everything altogether when they start seeing a new guy who tickles their fancy? Have you ever been in a situation where you recently meet a cute guy, and you basically cancel every single activity you have when he asks you out – even on the very last minute as a back up plan. That is just unattractive because that simply screams ‘desperate’ (That’s a swear word). So if you want to know how to become more attractive to men, have a life.

4. Respect HIS time – and yours.

Please ladies, if you have ever come across any play-hard-to-get guide that kinda tells you to ‘cancel on him here and there to keep him on his toes’, do NOT follow that under any circumstances! Playing those silly canceling games is definitely NOT how you can become more attractive to men. A man’s time is supposed to be respected just like yours. Don’t be flaky and stand him up. Don’t make him wait more than 30 minutes for a date and if you can’t make it to a previously scheduled date, give him sufficient notice. Treat ‘canceling on the last minute’ as a deal-breaker and should not be done unless something really urgent comes up. (I’m talking about someone being rushed to hospital, rather than the oh-I-dont-feel-like-it syndrome.)

5. Don’t be a YES woman and Don’t be TOO serious.

Develop the ability to give out some dark or sarcastic humor, and do not agree to every single word he says. You don’t have to and you should not because most people have their own opinion on things. Have a light conversation sometimes that just comprises of jokes and non-serious things rather than wanting the ‘serious’ talk every single minute – guaranteed to drain out any sensitive man out there.

Those are five simple steps you can take to instantly make yourself become more attractive to men, but knowing how to be attracted to men alone is not enough. Because yes you will succeed attracting men, but then what now!? It’s a long journey, but as long as you have a genuine desire to have your needs fulfilled, love will find its way. BUT! You do need to take action if you’d like to improve your relationship department. I urge you to get this guide: The Women men Adore and Never Want to Leave – the ultimate guide on how to become more attractive to men FOR GOOD.

“I wish I had my hands on this little guide earlier when I was still dating my boyfriend” –Quote by Angie, Queensland. Get the guide here.