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Archive for July, 2009

You’ve seen this guy a couple of times, probably made some drunken text or phone calls, you wonder if he is for real or he is only a fling. Well, there are of course signs to tell you whether or not he is for real, and here they are:

1. The time you spend with him is just fun. You have non-stop party time, fun time…every time. This unfortunately is not reality (or at the very least, the relationship has not exactly become the reality as yet.)

2. You both magically lose your life outside the relationship. It suddenly feels like the world only belongs to you and him and no body else. Basically, you forget you had a life before him, cancel all your plans with your friends and in fact, you don’t even remember the last time you spent apart from him.

3. This one is the opposite of number 2, where you don’t get to see him much at all. You ‘catch up’ once in a while casually and no one seems to (or pretends not to) expect another date beyond this one.

4. When you are actually together you tend to get a little too physical without actually talking to each other.

5. If you are lucky enough to talk, the conversation you have is very unimportant and shallow. I am talking about those flirty conversation foreplay rather than the deep conversation about values, goals and dreams.

6. Come to think of it, you’ve never seen his driver licence, nor he ever seen yours. In other words, you don’t even know each other’s last name – assuming his first name he told you is real.

7. You know he is dating other women and he doesn’t even make any excuse for it.

8. He is actually on holidays right now – or on working holiday visa without any real plan to stay. So you both still don’t know what happens when he goes on his pre-determined flight to his home country in two weeks.

9. Whenever he talks about his plan in the future (if he does talk), it doesn’t include you in it – not even a hypothetical example.

10. After a romantic weekend away with him you STILL are not sure when you’ll see him again. The sentence “see you soon” has got no meaning to you because he’s been using that same phrase without any real follow through.

Get a guy for real! have a look at this article on Dating men made easy.

How many times do this happen to you? You go out to a club with your girl friends, and what was supposed to be a friendly girly night turned to something else when you got a little tipsy. You ended up hooking up with a great guy who you swore you had connection with, and guess what? He doesn’t call after a hook up. Should you call him instead?

If it has only been one or two days since you had that ‘connection’, do not worry too much. He probably is just following the three-day stupid rule in the first place. But if a week’s gone by and he still hasn’t called that is a different story. So what should you do if he doesn’t call like that?

Well, I have to break the news to you that if you did a hook up with a guy who doesn’t call, he may just be one of the guys who likes to ‘milk the cow rather than buying it’. After all, you don’t know this guy yet and you don’t even know whether or not he is super sleazy to begin with. Plus, hardly any guy will say ‘no’ to a great hook up. So if you think that he probably is a great guy who has just put you into his ‘hook up’ category just because you gave him the permission to do so, then listen to this:

The fastest way to turn the situation around when he doesn’t call is to NOT call him. Also, do not expect this guy to call you, and wipe him out completely off your mind. This way you can get on with your life rather than camping by the phone thinking that you are just playing hard to get. Of course it is not easy to do that, you can’t just ‘wipe’ someone out from your mind, emotion certainly does not come with a mop. I mean, you are probably hurt and unfortunately when you make an oath to yourself not to call him, the only thing in your mind is probably how much you actuallY WANT to call him. But don’t. Instead, take out a piece of paper or start a new blog and put down how you felt about this guy starting from the butterflies you felt earlier to the fact that you now feel stupid for trusting him in the first place. Call some friends and make some plan, do some activity on your own, you get the idea.

Think about it this way, you don’t know who this guy is and even though you don’t want to admit it right now, the reason why you really want him to call you is just because you kind of link the fact that he doesn’t call to a feeling of being rejected. But seriously, he probably is a real loser and it is probably good that he doesn’t call you and mess your life up even more in the longer run.

And if you still feel really bad about it, one afternoon force yourself to sit in front of the talk show Jerry Springer (instead of your favourite SpongeBob SquarePants), and listen to all those unhappy couples shouting at each other like, “You sent me a dozen flowers to make me happy, then I found out that it’s just a way for you to apologise…for cheating on me with my sister?” Then consider this: The guy on the show DID call.

And just in case you didn’t know, Check out “101 Reasons why he doesn’t call and what you can do about it – make him call YOU instead”. Have a look.