So you have gone as far as creating a great online profile that portrays who you are physically and a little bit of your personality. You’ve exchanged emails with a guy who looks great in photos, quick witted and you feel like you’d fall in love with this guy before you met him. Is this feeling all possible? or are you infatuated by the idea of meeting someone new that you are not sure about?

Hey at least when you’ve met a guy offline, in a bar or a club somewhere you KNOW what he looks like in person and you probably get a chance to hear his voice, get a little ‘feel’ of what the he is about. But do you know what to expect on the first date – the first time you meet a guy from online dating?

Here they are:

1. Do not expect them to look like their picture

Expect the worst and prepare yourself to be surprised if the person actually look better than the pictures. In my experience (and some other people – both male and female) nearly more than half the population in online dating do not actually look like their picture – and not necessary in a good way. Maybe they do look like their picture in a certain angle, but don’t sum up some kind of imagination in your head of what they look like because trust me, you won’t know.

2. Do not expect this date to turn into relationship

It’s just a date! oh hang on, it’s not even a date yet…it’s the first meeting to test the water whether there is even chemistry there (Hence you don’t want to get into thousands of email banters with that person without actually meeting them in person first). So prepare to go for just a nice dinner or coffee and a nice chat without expecting anything more than that.

3. Expect a little bit of nervousness from both side

Yes, even good looking guys get nervous too. And no matter how confident you are, you probably would get nervous as well. So loosen up and pick a nice place such as a bar on a school night. This allows you to still hear what each other is saying (bars aren’t normally too packed on school nights – at least, where I live), and this also allows you to drink some kind of booze without feeling guilty. Booze will make you look funnier to the other person and it will make both of you relax a little bit.

Further note: Being drunk on dates is ILLEGAL, or it will be one of the fastest way to guarantee NOT to get a second date.

That’s all on what to expect on first dates – from online dating. Remember, don’t be afraid to actually go and try meet some new people.

Also, for a little bit of fun read, a bit of defense in case the lucky guy forgets or doesn’t call you after the first date, read 101 reasons why men don’t call after the first date

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

Online Dating – Do You Know What to Expect on the First Date?

Sadly, those fears people are inclined to feel when a relationship starts to get good would be able to kill the so-called honeymoon period in a flash. You wonder where all those honeymoon period have gone, you wonder if the person you are with is the right one. But ask yourself this: Are you ready for relationship?

1. First of all, you are ready for a relationship if you can keep your fear aside.

Fear is a big thing that can cloud your mind and judgement that even simple steps can look complicated and scary. You gotta deal with this fear and insecurity in a nice effective way. Especially in the early stages of relationship, people (mostly women) need to be reminded again and again that small insecurity feeling is normal. But if you let it take its toll around your life then you have basically invited it to wreck your about-to-grow relationship to pieces…So deal with it in order for you to have the lasting love and genuine intimacy.

Remember, most fear are just that: fear. You may fear that you don’t deserve love, your relationship may die, you may end up heartbroken, etc. However, know that if you have big fear, you will not be able to get close to someone and therefore you are not so ready for a longlasting genuine relationship. So are you ready for relationship? then you should be ready to throw those fear away – or at least put it at bay in the beginning of a new thing.

2. Case of the Ex.

I use to really hate talking about exes. I use to think they are the most annoying creatures that can interfere with any relationship at any stage. But thankfully, I am not like that anymore. If you still somehow think you may get back with your ex or you might want him as a ‘back up’ in case your current relationship doesn’t work out, ask yourself the question “Are you ready for relationship?”, because most likely the answer is a resounding NO.

3. You still feel you are ‘missing out’ or wanting to know your ‘options’.

When you are ready for a relationship you are ready to commit to one person without the subconscious thinking that a newer model and make of your supposedly dream guy will come out anytime soon. If all you think about involves what qualities of other guys that your current one doesn’t have then you maybe are not so ready for a relationship. The grass is not always greener on the other side, and when you still think so, you are still under the illusion that fairy tales such as Cinderella and the likes were all based on true stories.

4. You don’t understand (And never want to) the meaning of the word ‘Compromise’.

Relationship will always involve the word ‘compromise’. You cannot get your way all the time and you have to be ready for a little bit of compromisation. You gotta understand though, the older and the more mature someone is, the more comfortable she is with her way of doing things that ‘compromising’ becomes way harder than it should be. This is why you have to get it down pat that sometimes even Cinderella would have to compromise with her prince on some things (remember that they were based on true stories?)

So…if you are ready for it but it seems like your way of ‘dating’ is the problem, then have a look at this: Dating Men is Easy. All problems simplified

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

Are You Ready for Relationship? Four Things to Show That Maybe the Problem is YOU

So The following are ranking quite high up there, basically common things that women do to turn men off instantly:

1. Telling embarrassing stories that make you sound obnoxious is not a very good idea on the first date. We know that story never fails to make everyone in your ‘friends and acquaintances’ group laugh, but you really don’t want to risk it.

2. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this that men are very visual by nature, and you really don’t want to wear fashion that just completely doesn’t suit you or make you look like crazy fashion victim.

3. Do not keep the fake grin glued to your face. Do not laugh excessively either at all of his non-funny jokes. This will surely send out the desperate aura – best way to turn men off by far.

4. Do not try to act cute and completely out of your character. If you are strong-willed career minded women, don’t start putting on the baby voice or refer to yourself as a third person. This will instantly turn men off as they will find this ploy annoying.

5. Do not try and dig into how much he makes for a living. Knowing what he does is quite enough for you to do your own research, seriously. So no need to turn men off, just do your own research

6. While showing a bit of skin is sexy, showing too much skin and being scantily clad is just going to make you look cheap. That will surely turn men off.

7. Resist the urge to refer to your past relationship as this will turn your date off completely. Imagine you are telling him something like “I have a big family of 8 brothers and sisters” only to hear a comment from your date “Oh! My ex had 9, she had a crazy big family as well…” You get the idea.

8. Have some opinion yourself and don’t be a ‘Yes Woman’. Agreeing to everything that he says is not going to make a guy like you more. In fact, it could be a major turn off for most.

9. Be sober. I don’t care how you think alcohol will ‘relax you up’ a little bit, you have to be sober. “Drunk women talking – or shouting” is the fastest way to turn men off.

10. Realise that this is a date not a marriage interview. So resist the urge to hint in on what the future is going to be like. Pretend that you do not care about whether or not he will be part of your future…at least for now.

By the way, have you ever wondered why some men just don’t call after a great date? Have a read at this article.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

How To Instantly Turn Men Off On The First Date – and Find Out If You Are Doing It

I realise answering the actual question on how to get guys to like you may not be easy, and believe it or not this whole question can be answered in one thick and very attractive book. However, I am going to try my best to simplify it so that this article alone will arm you with instant knowledge on how to get guys to like you and boost your chance to get men by heaps.

1. Confidence and mind reality.

No matter how many times I have said this – and in any form – confidence and mind reality are the most important substance you need to have in order to get guys to like you. In fact, even if you don’t even know this guy as yet, you will be able to use your confidence alone to turn his head and notice you. Once you have that believe in yourself, you will be able to start the journey of getting the man of your dreams.

2. Know exactly what men find attractive – I’m talking about the superficial outer look here.

One of the first things that we usually notice when we meet someone is their physical appearance. When it comes to guys, physical appearance is even more important since we now agree that they are very visual creatures. Pay attention on your physical appearance. Go to the gym, take good care of your nails and hair, and most importantly pay more attention on how you dress. Wear things that flatter your assets (note: assets guys normally are attracted to are of course, chest, hips, bum, face or legs). So pay attention to those assets you’ve got.

3. Alluring body scent will be one top way on how to get guys to like you.

Many women overlook this but do you know that guys respond to smell that lingers in their mind long after you are gone? Find perfume that works well with you (Not all perfume suit everyone), and stick with that. Find yourself a signature smell so that guys will associate that with you. You would be surprised on the effect. Oh, try not to change your laundry detergent too often as well.

4. Love your life as much as possible.

This last one is very simple yet very hard to do. However, it is the most effective technique on how to get guys to like you when compared to the three pointers above. Have you ever heard a guy friend of yours tell you “there is something about Mary”, and he cannot quite point out what is it that is so attractive in her? Well, a woman that loves her life is very attractive. A woman that loves her life does not drop her routine for a new guy in her life. She will not ditch a good friendship for a ‘potential’ relationship. She respects the guy’s time as to not calling him repeatedly during the football match. She is secure, and simply loves her life.

Find out even more advice on how to get guys to like you here.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

How To Get Guys to Like You – Wish You Knew It Was This Simple…

Well, I have looked around everywhere but funny enough, many women tend to overlook this simple secret despite the many hints men drop everywhere. Tell me, have you ever heard (maybe many times you’ve heard) a man say to his friend or to you: “I really love nice eyes” or somewhere along that line? Couple that with many eye make-up products out there, you know the secret. Men love sexy eyes.

Now the question is, how can you make your eyes look sexier? What if you’ve got that dull eyes and what if you are not so gifted? Here is the good news, any woman can make her eyes look instantly sexy by doing the following:

1. Pay attention to the eyelash

Longer, thicker eyelash will make you instantly sexier. I am sure you’ve heard this before from some mascara advertising, but you might not have been too convinced. Of course, this may mean getting up in the morning earlier before you go to work to put on sexy mascara as well as taking longer time to wash and remove it in the end of the day, but it’s worth it. Though, some women go with the option semi-permanent eyelash extension as well as the DIY glued-on fake eyelashes.

2. Plug your eyebrows

No matter how lazy you are and how trimmed your real natural eyebrows are, you really need to plug and shape them. This will surely make your eyes look sexier in a heartbeat. I normally leave this to the professional, but if you’re confident you can do it yourself, then by all means do it!

3. Get rid of the eye bags

I use to photo-shop models for magazine covers, and the first thing I did was to get rid of the eye bags. That would instantly (and I mean, instantly) make you look sexier. Though, I understand getting rid of the eye bags is not so easy. So do the following: for short term, apply nice foundation a shade lighter than your face color. For long term, go for the facials, eye creams, or the plain cucumber.

4. Top secret: Learn the bedroom eyes technique

If you wear contact lenses, try to go for the lenses that will make your eyes look bigger and sparkly. If you don’t, learn this technique. Basically, focus your eyes on the part on the other person’s face that look most attractive to you, this will make your pupil go larger and hence look sexier. Also, remember when I mentioned about getting longer eyelash earlier? Well, the longer your eyelash are, the harder it is for the eyes to receive light. Therefore, your pupil will naturally get bigger in order to adapt to it. So there you go, bedroom eyes secret can be easily done.

Trust me that once you learn this eyes technique you will look instantly sexier. Your man will not even know what has hit him and will say something along the lines of “Something’s different in you, so sexy, but I don’t know what.” You’ll probably hear the word “hot” associated with you more often and that my friend, is a super confidence booster.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

How to Instantly Look Sexier by Just Knowing This One Secret

Plus, despite everybody wanting to be more attractive, competing with ridiculous beauty standards is tiring and unrealistic. Unless your name is Barbie (which means you only look for men by the name ‘Ken’), you will be real. Don’t you think it is good news that women don’t have to waste so much money on plastic surgery, hair extensions and cosmetic tattoos just to be more attractive to men. After all, you only need to attract men you want to date, and beauty is in the eye of beholder. So if you want to know how to be more attractive to men, simply do the following steps:

1. Never fake a laugh, or a fake grin

There is nothing less attractive than faking ear-to-ear grin or laugh. Next time you go to a coffee shop with your friends, look around you and you will bound to see a couple where one of them is faking the laugh. You will then know what I mean. But really, a guy is not dumb, he will know if you are faking your laugh or grinning unnecessarily, and it will do the opposite effect rather than to make you look more attractive. But despite saying so, please be generous with your smile, just make sure they’re real.

2. Be Confident of Who You Are

No one can judge how attractive you are but yourself. That is the truth. Basically, if you know you are attractive (and you really know), others will not disagree with you. Not only you will be more attractive to men, you will also be more attractive to people in general – talk about getting more friends, more invites to social events and hence…more MEN.

3. Dress to flatter your assets, not fashionable

Men are visual creatures, and men do not give a damn about the ‘latest fashion trends’ in Cosmopolitan. Many women dress to impress other women, not men. So if you’d like to impress your best sex-in-the-city little lady gang, put on the newest fashion trend, not to forget the designer expensive bag and the ‘new winter look’. But keep in mind that if you want to know how to be more attractive to MEN, not to your girlfriends, then learn how to dress to flatter your assets – whether or not it’s the latest trends.

Plus, it’s probably better to own something that last longer than just three months, it saves money and it’s a sure way of saying what you wear is definitely classy. So if you think you are gifted somewhere e.g. your backside, or your top-front, flaunt them, just show what you got (without being trashy of course). Find clothing that works for you EVERY time and stick to them. Men doesn’t care less if you are wearing a pair of jeans from four seasons ago, so go and grab a great flattering-your-bum jeans from the ‘last season’ in the next sass & bide sale and go with them.

By the way, I’ve just come across this online yesterday, basically how to be sure about what he thinks of you. Visit How to be More Attractive to men by the long shot.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

How To Be More Attractive to Men Instantly in Three Simple Steps

Women like to analyse things. If a guy does not give you a call after a great first date and it’s been two days, does he like you? If a guy prioritise his family and work over you (you’ve only just met) does he like you? I am sure you have many more scenarios involving many mixed signals and sleepless nights wondering about whether or not a guy you have just started seeing likes you. Come on, is there just a magic pill that exist to tell you in the most straight answer whether or not a guy likes you?

Well, no there isn’t any magic pill to tell you that, you wish don’t you? But there is one biggest sign to tell you in the most super straight answer whether or not he likes you. Now this is going to be the same whether you’ve only met him once, two or three dates, or you are dating seriously. As long as he still shows this sign, you are both on good page. Listen to this carefully. A guy likes you if he simply makes time for you.

Yes, you’ve heard it right, a guy likes you if he makes time for you. In fact, he WANTS to see you himself, so motivated by his own needs i.e. seeing you, he will definitely make time for you no matter if he is busy, or is lost in the sea for the next couple of weeks. He will want to see you as much as possible even though he is the busiest man on earth. (Even if in the beginning he only manages to see you once or twice a week, so long as he makes time for you he is interested.)

So that is the good news, that it is actually very simple. You can decipher what a guy really thinks of you by watching his action. He makes time means he likes you. But the bad news is though, Women tend to overlook this because they have this big thing in her mind called the ‘wishful thinking’. She doesn’t want to accept the fact that a certain guy is not into her when he tells her “I like you a lot, but I have to go feed my dog or bathe my cat every day so I won’t see you for a year” (ok, that’s extreme but you get the idea).

Look ladies, no matter how hard it is to accept, men are actually simple and dating is not supposed to be complicated. WE make it hard. But if you can’t help it and want to know all the signs (including all the subtle ones), find out more here on how to know if a guy likes you.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

How to Know if a guy likes you – One Biggest Sign Women Tend to Overlook

1. You are not open to meet new people and friends, you simply disregard online dating or speed dating because you think they are only for losers.

2. You are not interested in trying new places such as new restaurants, bars and clubs.

3. You do not make any effort to look your best. In fact, you look kinda daggy most of the time. Who else is into the worn-out sweatpants you love so much? Uh exactly, not the kind of men you want to be dating.

4. You are very negative about things. You are not confident with yourself and as a result you don’t radiate the sweet confidence air men are secretly craving. You have secret fear that you can never be dating the right men.

5. You play TOO hard to get, and you don’t even show any man you like that you are in fact…interested. Dating is all about you as you don’t want to give the smallest piece of your emotion to anyone else due to fear of rejection or fear of getting hurt.

6. You have the habit to laugh at the person you are with rather than with him. You have poor taste of jokes and you cannot take any joke yourself.

7. You are so not open and it shows in all your body languages and your tone of voice i.e. you cross your arms while talking, and you talk in the most boring tone of voice ever. This is all because you are not interested in the person, because your idea of dating the right men is about dating someone tall, dark, handsome, with the greatest job, and no less.

8. You radiate big desperation air around you. Basically, you have the idea that every date should really turn into marriage, so you demand a long explanation if the man you are dating has not called you within 24 hours of meeting. You can’t be dating the right men like that because men get turned off by desperation.

9. You simply don’t smile enough. Believe it or not, most people love a great smile. So even if you think your smile is not all that great, just do it! You’ll be surprised how many men will fall head over heels with that smile of yours

10. Lastly, is the greatest mistake of all. You don’t want to change in order to create change. You are accustomed to your old way of dating men and you simply blame men when dating the right men seems to be a challenge for you. Maybe that’s not the only reason why those men stop calling you.

Find out exactly why men don’t call you or simply disappear after a great (or a few great) dates here. Maybe you can change the way you think, and dating the right men will start becoming natural to you.

Good luck.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

Top Ten Reasons Why You Are Not Dating The Right Men…Yet

Yes you can call a man first but NOT a man who is clearly not interested in you. This will put down your confidence and self-esteem, that’s the last thing I would like you to feel. But then I have heard that still, many women out there NEED some kind of rule – REAL rules on what to do when it comes to calling men.

I guess, it is probably because most of the times common sense flies out the window when you are so interested in someone, and time seems to slow down a lot. It feels like you haven’t heard from him for months already when in fact he only hasn’t called you for a day. This may lead you to call men again and again that it disturbs his day up until he labels you a ‘stalker’.

So ok, I do admit that the subject of calling men you date may be rather confusing at times and not knowing how to handle the issue of men who doesn’t call you properly can backfire on you severely. Depending on who I talk to (women), it really makes a difference on who calls who (some women simply gain confidence to wait for a man to call her and therefore able to date better.)

Even after knowing the common sense, many women feel like she still doesn’t know how to call a man she is dating. Calling men gets even more complicated when a guy is not calling you and you really want to get him to call you. What do you do? How do you go about handling the issue with confidence and composure without being perceived as needy or pushy?

Now I also realize that where some women are good to date without rules, some women need strict rules in the beginning of the dating stage with a new man, because they tend to SUBCONSCIOUSLY do all the things that may wreck a perfectly good start such as calling men when they feel desperate, when he’s not calling back, and when he simply is not interested.

It gets blurry and it is not easy to figure out. But ok, I’m not the type of person who writes strict rules when it comes to dating, but for some of you ladies that feel like you really want everything about calling men laid out for you then I would strongly advise you to check out this page: 101 Reasons why men don’t call and what you should do about it.

Go get the guide and soon you will see your troubles with men and phone calls go out of the window – even if you are one of those women who tend to get so insecure.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

Why Didn’t He Call After the First Date? Great Date But He Doesn’t Call

But what would happen when we all do it this way? what happen when women simply pick up the phone and start dialing men’s number whenever she feels like it? Not good. It’s not that calling men is a crime because imagine if men have the same rule like we do: “Do not call women”, what would happen?

Exactly, you will both miss an opportunity to create what can be a real good relationship. But why do you see many relationship books out there tell you NOT to call men first ESPECIALLY if you like him? Ok, there is probably a reason to that, and the reason is not that it will make the men less interested in you – a man wouldn’t lose interest just because you beat him to the punch with some of the callings right? But it will put you at risk of calling men who are not interested in you (and never have since the beginning).

So instead of making it so hard for you, here I will give you some guidelines on when you should actually hold back on calling him. (And for the purpose of this article, text messages and emails are counted the same way.) That’s right, to know when you simply should NOT call him will definitely help you relax, and it actually works. Here goes:

1. You should NOT call him again after an unanswered phone call. You don’t want to abuse his number, if you’ve called the man and he doesn’t answer, leave a text message – he may be busy. But if within considerable amount of time the text is not returned, then you should know where you stand i.e. he probably is not interested.

2. Even if he answers the phone, ask him whether or not he is free to talk, and do not call him again if he says he is busy. He should be the one who calls you back. This is to make sure he is not just using the word ‘busy’ as an excuse for not wanting to talk to you.

3. You should not call him too many times that it disturbs his daily routines. Do not call him to find out where he is, what he wants for dinner, or to simply check out on him making sure that he is where he told you he was going to be. That’s just possessive and it would be the fastest way to drive him away.

4. You should not call him out just to ‘say hi’ more than considerable amount of times in a day. Just-to-say-hi call should be limited to say…once a day? unless of course, it is reciprocated.

5. Do not call him everyday in the beginning of a courtship. Now this may seem like a ‘rule’, and it MAY be a rule, but you have to take into account that most guys have this in the back of their mind i.e. do not call the women every day. So unless you hold fire some of the days, you wouldn’t give him the chance to actually miss you.

6. When you feel lonely or desperate or having the worst pms of your life, do NOT call a man. Why calling men when you are feeling this way is prohibited? Simple answer is that it will show in your voice that you are lonely or desperate. The thing is, you may be feeling desperate ONLY at a particular time – the time when you call him. However, he may simply have the impression that you ARE desperate rather than thinking it was only for the short time. So if you feel desperate, start calling your girlfriends and catch up with them instead!

7. Do not call him if you know he is with the boys. Some girls really love to call men when they are out with their friends but as you know, men are not like women. They want to look cool and tough in front of their friends – and being lovey-dovey with a woman is not very manly. So chances are he will be very agitated and half acting (especially if you’ve just started seeing him) and you will feel insecure. (Knowing how women analyse every single move men make i.e. why did he sound distant today?)

8. Lastly, do not call him if you only want to discuss heavy things. Heavy things are best to discuss in person when his guard is down i.e. when he is with you ready to hear what you have to say rather than before he is handing over a very important presentation to his boss.

So ladies, calling men is definitely not a crime, but stay away from calling men who are not interested in you by remembering the eight points above. But just so that you know, when a relationship is right, it would seem so natural between you two that the initiation of text and calls become equal – and you won’t even need to keep track of it, let alone analyse it.

If you haven’t already, grab a copy of The Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave – stop worrying about Calling Men. Find out more about how to be “That” girl.

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

The Dating Game: Rules on Calling Men and What Actually Works