However, things change once one party decided they want more other than just wild romps in the bed. Lucky for the couple, the movie ended with a happy solution. Ahh… Hollywood movies are such a cliche,

Regrettably, not all FWB situaton ends with a happy ending.. especially in this day and age. Only a few made it to exclusive relationships, the rest just go pear-shaped. I’m a firm believer that the FWB situations only work for guys. I mean.. what benefit does it bring for girls? Women are not designed to handle emotions as good as men, particularly on the bonding-effect. Experts believe that the more often a girl is sleeping with a guy who gives her pleasure, the more she will get attached to her sex partner(s).

Sometimes, girls agree to sleep with a guy with no strings attached – merely hoping that there’s an opportunity to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Guys could smell this yearning scent and would, in turn, use the girl to his advantage. Try not to let yourself feeling this way. Ashton Kutcher is the ‘typical girl’ in this movie and good on him for taking the plunge trying to seal the deal.

Portman also couldn’t deny herself when she started feeling something. Gosh, isn’t Portman so well at faking it? No.. I’m not talking about her quick on-screen orgasm, but how she dealt with her inner feelings. Although the next few weeks were filled with dramas and uncertainties, in the end they make it to a happy life.

So this leads me to the next question.. is FWB healthy for both men and women? There’s no definite answer on that one. My reponse is it’s only healthy if both parties realize that they’re not up for anything serious (ie relationship). Plus, in order for that to happen, they have to observe these golden rules:

• Be open and honest with each other. If one party sleeps with another person, they have to tell the other person what’s going on.
• Set ground rules – no jealousy, no snooping on each other’s lives, no controlling, no suddenly rocking up at their work place.
• Play it safe. Always use condoms to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies. It wouldn’t be a fun in the sack anymore if the girl falls pregnant (think Rachel and Ross in Friends).
• Manage your life well – know where you stand, DO keep your options open, control your emotions.
• Build your emotions wall high, real high. Do not feel used/rejected if your FWB did not reply or answer your text. They have other ‘friends’ too, just letting you know…
• Do not bring your FWB to family functions or events that people might think you’re a couple. Trust me – you don’t want to attract awkward questions to your current situation.
• Do not build expectations. This is when you start questioning: is he/she going to stick with me for (this) period of time? Are we going to be a real couple? Answer: You are only having great sex together. Period.
• Do not do this at all if you’re feeling lonely and need to past the time. You won’t be enjoying as much benefits, plus there’s a higher chance you’ll be clingy to the other person. Euwww…

Moreover – is there an expiry date on FWB situations? Again, the decision is on your own hand. At the end of the day we all want someone we can come home to, share our daily stories, cook dinner, gives us a foot massage after a tiring day. If you aren’t getting your needs fulfilled (ie the BENEFITS) – why stay in an unconfirmed relationship?

So, the next time you’re trapped into this kind of relationship ask yourself honestly: what kind of benefit do I get in this relationship? How long can I put up with it before getting myself hurt? What do I really want?

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

Friends with benefits… or friends WITH benefits? (and why Natalie Portman is so good at faking it)

That was the tagline of a chick flick drama titled Letters to Juliet. Starring Sophie, a (half) engaged woman who flew to Verona in Italy with her fiancé for a pre-honeymoon holiday. However their plans changed and Sophie found herself glancing through a memorial spot for women to write letters in order to find their true love.

She came across one letter written by Claire in England dated 50 years ago. Sophie wrote back to Claire, and few weeks later Claire came to Verona. She wishes to find her missing lover, Lorenzo. From there on Sophie accompanied Claire (who came with her grandson Charlie) to find 74 different Lorenzos in the area.

During the journey, Sophie found herself falling for Charlie – a skeptic in the name of love. Short story, Claire finally reunited with her long lost love. Sophie came back to New York with her fiancé and realized she didn’t love him after all. She later returned to Verona to attend Claire and Lorenzo’s wedding and started a new chapter with Charlie. Happy Ending!

Women everywhere around the globe, all ages and backgrounds, are searching for the kind of love that Sophie experienced. We all want a happy ending story like Sophie’s, but how many of us ever experienced true love? Some of us are stuck in a relationship with men who don’t appreciate us, who treat us like shits, take us for granted, lay their hand on us, or simply never pop up the question.

Sometimes we question ourselves – does true love exist? Does destiny really happen? In the movie, Sophie mentioned to Charlie: “It’s destiny that brought me to you.” Sophie is a classic example of modern women these days – she’s got a career, found her perfect partner, and hoping to walk down the aisle with the love of her life.

Realistically, things don’t always go according to what you’ve planned. When you find yourselves stuck in a rut or things are not working like you’d imagined, you need to take immediate decision for your life.

Dating, heartache, loneliness, depression, losing self esteem are just a phase that we need to go through before finding happily ever after. If you felt that you’ve dated far too many jerks and get your heart all mashed up, chances are you’ll be quite resentful and hopeless about finding true love. It’s not an easy task but we need to keep positive of what’s ahead of us. We need to believe that better things will await us. Throughout my experience, I learn that the more you get your heart broken, the more you discover yourself better. You realize what you want in a relationship and in time will attract the ones you have in mind.

Finding yourself jumping in the dating maze after series of brokenhearts is not fun, it’s rather scary. The trick is to treat dating like a game to reach the million dollar prize. You are not alone in the dating jungle so don’t feel like a loser if you haven’t found your true love yet. After all, not all women are as lucky as Sophie.

Remember.. dating is an elimination process and there’s a huge prize waiting to be claimed on the other end. Every dating failure is a journey, and every asshole you meet will eventually lead you to the right one. And always… always love yourself first before others!

xx

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

Does true love exist ?

Amazingly, it’s not only fishes that the princess encountered. She’d also dipped her foot into crocodile pond- and yes she did get bitten in the end and left a scar, pond full of water snakes that she got choked until she couldn’t breathe, and pond full of piranha that she wouldn’t even dare to enter.

The last pond she visited was a frog pond. She remembered thinking “hm..frogs are harmless, aren’t they?” So she kissed a couple of frogs despite their wet skin taste. All of a sudden there comes this tadpole with glossy spotty skin, enticing her: “princess, if you kiss me long enough I will turn into prince charming!”

So the princess did as what the frog told her.. desperately hoping it would soon turn into a gorgeous prince. After she had kissed the frog for few months, it filled her brain with fantasies. She hallucinated so much that she got intoxicated and lost her sense. The more she kissed the frog, the more hopes and dreams she had. Somehow along the way she felt that this frog is not good for whatever reason.

Luckily it didn’t took her too long to realize the hopes and dreams were nothing but deception and empty promises. The princess figured out that the frog she’s been kissing is a poisonous one, which will bring her to slow death and pain. She left the cute frog with her last strength and paddled into the sea.

As she swam across the ocean, few dolphins encircled her. She paddled and paddled until there’s a kind fisherman who’ll rescue her and bring her to a safe land.

Moral of the story? In the dating world, you will meet a lot of jerks, manipulative bastards and all those cruel men who are going to break your heart into pieces. You just have to put yourself out there and don’t waste your time on someone who’s unworthy of your affections. Surround yourselves with people who appreciate you. Never give up on love; a prince charming will find you one day…….

Post from: Dating is SO Complicated.com. Copyright © 2009 Sally Webb

The Story of A Princess and A Frog