Archive for the ‘The Complicated Dating’ Category
I imagine that’s what the movie would be called if it’s released in France. For those of you who has not yet seen it, this hilarious romantic comedy is more than just Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin engaging a full-on webcam show. It depicts on one woman’s decision to either reconcile things with her cheating ex-hubby or starting over with a new lover. Ms Streep plays Jane, a moderately-happy single divorcee, who recently had some kind of ‘interaction’ with her ex-husband after being separated for 10 years. The ex, Jake, played brilliantly by Alec Baldwin, has hit unhappy stage with his second marriage to a younger woman. There comes Adam, another sweet divorcee who fell for Jane’s sense of humour.
I’ve learnt few things after watching this heart-felt flick. Why? Not everyday we would watch a divorced couple trying to patch things back in humorous ways. A few questions running through my head.. First, where do boundaries lie if you have been intimate with someone previously, yet the relationship ended? Is it called cheating if you’re sleeping with your ex-lover (especially if they already have a new partner)? I realize that there’s no right or wrong answer here. What you think you did right might not be the same as somebody else’s point of view.
Sometimes we fell into circumstances that is out of our control. The sex was awesome, you were connected with that person, you’re drunk, you are single *and* horny, and voila.. before you knew it, you’re having an affair- with your ex sadly. Jane even created her own term called ex with benefits. Basically it’s like having a FWB (friends with benefits) with added past baggage.
Let’s take a look at the situation a bit deeper. One scene shows how distraught Jane (Streep) was when Jake (Baldwin) cancelled an intimate evening with her. There, she felt the uneasy emotions of being ‘the other woman’. Jake is already hitched with another woman with a step-son. Nonetheless the marriage hit rocky point therefore he seeks attention and comfort of his old mrs. Jane is the fallback girl in this case. When Jane was disappointed with Jake‘s poor behaviour, she went to look for Adam (Martin). Adam, is now Jane’s fallback guy.
Lucky for Jane, both men are desperately trying to win her over. Jane is smitten with Adam‘s attractiveness and on how he makes her feel. On the other hand, Jake knows how to push her buttons and giving her lavish attentions.
Many of us may have been in that sticky situation. Should you take an ex back (if the opportunity arises), or starting over with a potential partner? Sometimes we wonder.. if the sex was so damn good, where the hell did it all go wrong then? Are you willing to go through all the pain and hurt again with that person? After all, you’ve been with him/her for quite some time and be aware of the consequences too. Also, would you take the risk of opening your heart to an unfamiliar person? Would he/she be able to make you as happy as your ex did?
Fortunately the movie concludes with a happy ending. In my opinion, the movie teaches us to act on whatever your heart informs you without losing your rational judgement. Whatever choice you made, make sure you won’t regret it for the second time. After all, life should be easy..n’est-ce pas?
Many times I’ve heard women asking around on how to forget someone you still really like, and once they get their answers they would then go on and ask another question i.e. “What is the real timeline and how long does it really take to forget someone you still really like?”
No matter how many times they are told that time will heal anything, they still want to give their brain a ‘definite date’ as so that they will have hope on when this agony really will end.
As I have touched on earlier in my other article, the only time you will want to forget someone you still really like is the time when you just broke up with someone, or worse, when that person who you thought was special just decided to leave without a trace by disappearing from the face of the earth – in the hope that you won’t notice…yeah right. These situations make it really hard for you to move on and for your brain to really believe that it’s over just because there is never a real confirmation that the whole thing is over.
Of course, I hope you realise that no matter what, there will be some pain involved. What I mean by this is that no matter how quickly you manage to get over this person there will still be some pain involved in forgetting him. It is impossible to completely go amnesia on the memories that you once had.
But let’s take it from many women from all over the world on how long it takes to actually forget that person. The first few days are the most
painful and believe it or not you will have to just cope with it. Sleep it off, eat many pints of ice creams, scream, go to the gym and join the body combat class just to be able to punch someone, do all these things or anything that you want to do just to fill up your time. You will feel the hurt during these first few days no matter what.
By the end of the first week, you should be feeling a little better, although at times you will feel that little pang of feeling that reminds you of the good times you once had with that person. The worse thing is that you no longer hate them for whatever they did, there are only good memories that you have in your mind. You no longer hurt that much, but you will be quite sad – for the loss.
Believe it or not, it’ll be two weeks after the whole break up thing, time will feel so slow, seems like the earth stops revolving around and there will be that time when you look at the calendar date saying “Oh My God it’s only been two weeks … feels like forever!” By this time, it will be easier to go through the days even though yes, you will still feel bits and pieces of the heartbroken feeling.
Finally, it will be around 60 days (two months) after the breakup, this is when you finally feel like you can move on with your life without much of the break up affecting you. This is when you start to feel like it is possible to forget someone that you still really like (if you still really like him or her at this stage).
But having said all that, there are lots of things you can do to ease the pain during the first two months, in fact I have seen one really good information on the web on How to Forget Your Ex in just 24 Hours, VERY interesting. Check it out for yourself!
I really recommend it because reading these sort of materials will definitely take your mind off things even though you may not completely forget him like amnesia just yet. Get it here, it’s worth it.
