Should I dump him? Learn the 5 signs you should dump your boyfriend
Okay, not every relationship is meant to last. And sometimes, that’s not your fault. Maybe you’ve tried to fix the relationship and it hasn’t worked. And you’re just wondering if it’s time to finally pull the trigger.
I’m not saying it will be easy. After all, you’ve invested lots of time – and lots of your emotion – into this relationship. But if you’re asking yourself “Should I dump him?” then maybe it is time to re-evaluate the relationship.
There are normally some warning signs to tell you that the relationship is not working. And staying in a relationship that’s not working is ultimately a waste of time. So even if it’s very hard, there are times when you need to recognise the signs you should dump your boyfriend.
1. Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend – He cheats on you (or you suspect he does)
Yes, a woman’s instinct is normally right and you should trust your gut feeling. But here are some more signs that he may have a lover on the side:
– He has so many secrets (secret phone, secret facebook account, secret outings)
– He disappears sometimes and he can’t exactly tell you where he goes
– He seems more upset and defensive – or says that you’re clingy – if you ask him where he’s been
– You caught him with another girl
– You just know he’s cheating
Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater.
2. Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend – He doesn’t seem to put any effort into the relationship
After the first initial ‘honeymoon period’, all relationships will drift into a ‘more stable stage’. But that doesn’t mean it has to be boring. It doesn’t mean you should stop putting an effort into it. So you may want to re-evaluate your relationship if the following are true:
– He ignores you when you’re trying to talk to him about something important
– You compete with his phone/ipad/computer/playstation for his attention. And you normally lose.
– He no longer is your go-to person for emotional support (you seem to get more support from others like your friends and family)
– He keeps doing things that you really hate no matter how much you’ve told him about why you really hate it.
– He doesn’t put in any effort to spend time with you – yet have all the time in the world to catch up with his mates.
– You just don’t talk anymore.
3. Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend – He is too controlling
A healthy relationship needs each one to have own activities, friends, hobbies, basically own life apart from the relationship. A controlling guy will stop you from having these life of your own – or will only let you do things IF he approves.
So while you still need to compromise (you still need to consider his feelings and you can’t act like you’re single), he may be way too controlling if he does the following:
– He doesn’t let you go out with your friends. Actually, he doesn’t like ANY of your friends.
– He always need to know where you are and who you’re with. He then tries to limit the time you spend with them.
– He starts many of his sentences with “Why can’t you do …”, “You should do…”, “You have to…”
– He tries to control other things such as where you live, where you work, what you should eat, when you should sleep etc.
4. Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend – Your values are very different
You want to get married. He doesn’t. You want to have kids. He doesn’t. You want to live in a house with backyard one day. He loves apartment style living…
It’s quite healthy to have different opinions in a relationship and you shouldn’t expect his aspiration to be exactly the same as you. But if your values in life are very different to each other, the relationship is not going to work anyway.
Now don’t get this confused with things like: you want a big wedding, he wants a small one. Or you love the mountain, he loves the beach. Those are normal differences to have in any relationship and as long as you (or him) can compromise and come up with some kind of middle ground, it’s good.
5. Signs You Should Dump Your Boyfriend – It’s really you, NOT him.
Maybe you got into the relationship for all the wrong reason in the beginning. Maybe you’ve never even liked him (but all your friends are in a relationship and it’s too hard being the only one single). If you find yourself doing the following, you might be the one who really shouldn’t be in this relationship:
– You don’t exactly like spending time with him. You’d rather reserve your saturday nights for outings with your friends (and you seem to do this every time).
– You occassionally pretend you’re too busy just to get out of spending time with him.
– You cheated on him – or you dream of having an affair ALL the time.
– You are just not ready for a relationship. (Read: Are you ready for a relationship?)
– He’s just not someone that you want (or maybe you have completely unrealistic expectation, but that’s a different article altogether)
Look, chances are, you won’t change your mind about this relationship by staying in it longer. And it’s unfair to string him along if you really don’t want to be in this relationship.
P.S. If you decide to put a stop to this relationship and break up, you will still feel bad no matter how ready you think you are. Read: How to stop thinking about your ex and move on with your life