The Dating Game: Rules on Calling Men and What Actually Works
The rules of calling men in our lives? Oh yes there is! I know, it’s all too hard when we associate dating and games because when two people really click with each other, there should be NO dating games played whatsoever.
But what would happen when we all do it this way? what happen when women simply pick up the phone and start dialing men’s number whenever she feels like it? Not good. It’s not that calling men is a crime because imagine if men have the same rule like we do: “Do not call women”, what would happen?
Exactly, you will both miss an opportunity to create what can be a real good relationship. But why do you see many relationship books out there tell you NOT to call men first ESPECIALLY if you like him? Ok, there is probably a reason to that, and the reason is not that it will make the men less interested in you – a man wouldn’t lose interest just because you beat him to the punch with some of the callings right? But it will put you at risk of calling men who are not interested in you (and never have since the beginning).
So instead of making it so hard for you, here I will give you some guidelines on when you should actually hold back on calling him. (And for the purpose of this article, text messages and emails are counted the same way.) That’s right, to know when you simply should NOT call him will definitely help you relax, and it actually works. Here goes:
1. You should NOT call him again after an unanswered phone call. You don’t want to abuse his number, if you’ve called the man and he doesn’t answer, leave a text message – he may be busy. But if within considerable amount of time the text is not returned, then you should know where you stand i.e. he probably is not interested.
2. Even if he answers the phone, ask him whether or not he is free to talk, and do not call him again if he says he is busy. He should be the one who calls you back. This is to make sure he is not just using the word ‘busy’ as an excuse for not wanting to talk to you.
3. You should not call him too many times that it disturbs his daily routines. Do not call him to find out where he is, what he wants for dinner, or to simply check out on him making sure that he is where he told you he was going to be. That’s just possessive and it would be the fastest way to drive him away.
4. You should not call him out just to ‘say hi’ more than considerable amount of times in a day. Just-to-say-hi call should be limited to say…once a day? unless of course, it is reciprocated.
5. Do not call him everyday in the beginning of a courtship. Now this may seem like a ‘rule’, and it MAY be a rule, but you have to take into account that most guys have this in the back of their mind i.e. do not call the women every day. So unless you hold fire some of the days, you wouldn’t give him the chance to actually miss you.
6. When you feel lonely or desperate or having the worst pms of your life, do NOT call a man. Why calling men when you are feeling this way is prohibited? Simple answer is that it will show in your voice that you are lonely or desperate. The thing is, you may be feeling desperate ONLY at a particular time – the time when you call him. However, he may simply have the impression that you ARE desperate rather than thinking it was only for the short time. So if you feel desperate, start calling your girlfriends and catch up with them instead!
7. Do not call him if you know he is with the boys. Some girls really love to call men when they are out with their friends but as you know, men are not like women. They want to look cool and tough in front of their friends – and being lovey-dovey with a woman is not very manly. So chances are he will be very agitated and half acting (especially if you’ve just started seeing him) and you will feel insecure. (Knowing how women analyse every single move men make i.e. why did he sound distant today?)
8. Lastly, do not call him if you only want to discuss heavy things. Heavy things are best to discuss in person when his guard is down i.e. when he is with you ready to hear what you have to say rather than before he is handing over a very important presentation to his boss.
So ladies, calling men is definitely not a crime, but stay away from calling men who are not interested in you by remembering the eight points above. But just so that you know, when a relationship is right, it would seem so natural between you two that the initiation of text and calls become equal – and you won’t even need to keep track of it, let alone analyse it.
If you haven’t already, grab a copy of The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave Find out more about how to be “That” girl.