Why You Should Take Your Time To Find The Right Guy
I’ve realised nowadays people want everything to be instant. Whereas in the older generation (I’m talking about my grandmother’s generation), people use to cook to even have a quick meal, nowadays even waiting by the McDonalds window for more than 2 minutes is unacceptable. But what does it have to do with dating and finding the right man?
Well, I guess the whole instant mentality people have these days have impact on finding the right guy. Let me give you an example. The other night I had a call from a friend, and she told me she’s just met a guy who she thought was pretty good – you know, hitting all her criteria box (I’ll talk about that later). She then proceeded and told me about what he does for a living, who he hangs around with (thanks to Facebook), how much he probably earns (according to salary survey), and any other information about this guy that she can gather from asking their mutual friends. Then she ended the whole spill on that guy with “So…do you think I should go out with him?”
I was like.. “HUH!?” She literally met the guy once, probably didn’t even have the chance to have a proper conversation, let alone date him. So how would she know whether or not she wants to go out with this guy? How can she decide so quickly anyway? Actually, why did she even think she SHOULD decide quickly? So I told her “Slow down! You need to get to know this person first.”
So I guess this is a reminder to ladies out there, that dating or finding the right man is not like a job interview. It’s not like anyone would hand you a full report on the guy (beside facebook and even then, the guy can just make it up), it’s not like dating can be instant, which comes to the point of: You can’t decide whether or not you want to be with someone based on some criteria or information you gather about that person without actually properly getting to know that person.
In fact, forget about Facebook; forget about gathering information from mutual friends or calling many of your girlfriends to find out what they know about him. Get it all from him! The old chasing game is still there i.e. where the guy has to chase the girl whilst at the same time thinking of many ways to impress the girl. Then you should start to get to know the guy slowly by talking to him, by being mysterious and not too available, basically by doing things to be, as Bob Grant said, The Woman men Adore… and Never Want to Leave.
Finding the right man is supposed to take time. Not only it gives you the chance to find out more about the man beyond the criteria and into the more important thing such as his values and beliefs, but it also gives the man a chance to properly chase you. And believe it or not, men still want to chase ladies. Men still want to be the hunter and no matter how quickly you can now decide on things like jeans, clothes, cars or even an investment property, never EVER take a quick shortcut in finding the right guy. After all, it’s probably more of a waste of time in the long run.