How to Forget Someone You Still Really Like – and Move On With Your Life

How to Forget Someone You Still Really Like – and Move On With Your Life

This is one article I wrote that has a little to do with the actual dating, but a lot to do with the foundation of dating. I have been asked by a few people “How to forget someone you still really like”, most of the time the question relates to the ex whom they still have a clear picture of in their mind, or the person who they’ve started dating (or are dating) who pretty much has just left them for any reason (somebody else, things not working out, and the worst of all: just gone missing without a trace – AWOL).

I also realise that many times when this question is asked, the answer you are hoping for is really beyond the normal “get busy, take time out, let time heals it etc”. Most people who ask this question are feeling some kind of emotional pain rooted somewhere in their heart or mind that they can’t concentrate on any task given to them. Normally this pain happens on the first few hours they ‘get dumped’ or ‘felt like they’ve lost someone’, or whom they finally got the courage to ‘leave’.

Of course, I must tell you that there is no ‘super quick fix’ that will completely take away the hurt right now, despite I always look for one whenever I feel hurt by people close to me (romantic or not). In fact, there is no such thing as the quick ‘how to forget someone you still really like or love’, because it is impossible to forget something that has happened in the past (whether it is a minute ago, weeks or months ago).

But what you can do though, is to get over the painful hurt feeling as quickly as possible so that you can survive the hurt, able to concentrate on your days, and most importantly move on with your life whether you want to get back to dating scene with a more ‘ready’ mind, or just move on with your life without feeling the hurt anymore.

So here are some things that you can do:

1. Accept the fact that you are hurt, and accept that there is no quick fix, that there is a process to forget someone.

Yes this is the easiest thing to do that you have to start accepting that there is nothing you can do to make the hurt go away right this second. Especially, if you feel like you don’t have anyone else to talk to because the person you count on is really the person who hurts you.

2. Do something physical ON YOUR OWN

When I said ‘on your own’, I meant ‘on your own’. There is no need to pretend you can forget things in your mind by talking to others. You need a ‘me time’ right now or in the next 24 hours. Of course, you will feel so bad that you are taking it in for yourself, but trust me it will numb your hurt painful emotion quicker. So do something physical such as jogging while listening to inspirational music, lock yourself in your room and sleep for the next six hours, playing music instrument, singing karaoke as loud as you can, bowling on your own, shooting range (if time and place permits), shooting basketball or just anything physical on your own – you get the idea. (In fact, I knew a lady who did bungee jumping ten times in a row just to forget someone she just broke up with.)

3. Writing a blog or a diary – both online and offline

If reading articles such as this one will take up some of your mind space, writing blog entries or diary entries will actually make it even better. It is one of the most effective and quickest method on how to forget someone, or forget the hurt you get from that someone. Write exactly how you feel, write about how you survive this whole thing. Before you know it, your strong urge earlier of wanting to call that person right at that moment will slowly subside. You will soon feel calmer and able to function a little bit more.

4. Beyond this, time will heal

Yes, it’s time for me to mention that the best thing on how to forget someone you like is still to give it time. However, it helps if you stop focusing on contacting them in the meantime. In fact, try to minimise contact (no contact is even better) so that you can move on with your life quicker.

Other related post by Sally: How to stop thinking about your ex and finally move on with your life.

96 comments

  1. ReplyTamz

    Theres a girl that a really like but he has a boyfriend but he doesn’t treat her as good and I don’t know if the girl likes me because she was trying to be so flirty with me but I know that she won’t like me I already cOnfess my feelings to her but she didn’t even answer and I think the answer is probably no! I try to avoid her but still
    I can’t because we go to the same school it’s just sad 🙁

  2. ReplySiya

    I dated a guy for about 2 years. I did so much for him.And formost I loved him. He lied to me every now and then. I forgived him. But He cheated on me. I still love him a lot. I keep on visiting his profile. I feel like talking to him. his memories haunt me.I want to move on. Pleasee helpp!! 🙁

  3. Replycharles

    butIt has been 8 months since the break up. I just can’t stop thinking about her though she broke my heart and left me in pain all by myself. All that is in my mind day and night is her and this makes me can’t focus in whatever task I’m given. I’m now doing Alevels and I’ve flunked my first semester. I don’t wanna mention the reason of out breakup but it was something that both of us didn’t want. We love each other dearly but still shit has to be done. It’s really complicated. SO, begining after the breakup, we still keep in touch as friends but one day she just stopped replying my texts and answering my calls. Then she blocked me from twitter and facebook. I don’t know why is she doing all this to me. I feel so hurt and upset that she could just erase me of her life so easily after everything we went through. Why is she so selfish? Why am i so stupid to still care for her? Why can’t i move on? I just can’t seem to forget her. I feel like I won’t be able to fall for another girl. I can’t imagine myself sharing beautiful moments with another girl cause she is the only one that want to create memories with. I think about all that we used to be all the time. I tear alot. This sucks. It’s just plain pathetic to love someone who doesn’t even give a shit whether you’re dead or alive. I know what I should do, I knowww but i just can’t do it. I really should move on when she has moved on long time ago and decided to delete me from her life. This is some serious shit. I’ve been torturing myself everyday for the past 8 months and I’m so tired of it. I don’t wanna live like this forever. Please help me. ;(

  4. ReplyBee

    I have a friend whom I’ve been secretly crushing on since the day I first spoke to him. I haven’t seen him in a year because we go to different universities now, but we still keep in touch. He recently contacted me with some great news about him doing his PhD studies and we discussed it for a few days. And now I really miss him again and I can’t think about anything else. This is so ridiculous because I’ll probably never see him again. I’ve tried to force myself to move on, but the more I try, the more depressed I become because I know I’ll never be with him. I feel absolutely silly feeling so down about this and I don’t want to be hung up on a guy I haven’t seen in a year. Plus, I feel like a total creep thinking about him because I know he doesn’t think of me in the same way.

  5. ReplyCharlie

    I met this guy at my friend’s Christmas party last year. We instantly clicked and
    hung out all night and morning. But we all went to different schools so I wasnt sure when I would see him again but then he got my number and we started texting. Within two weeks I was trying not to fall for him and then my same friend had a bonfire and we just hit it off again. After that I was done I let myself fall for a guy for once thinking that it would end okay. A couple more weeks and we had a movie night with some friends. I wasn’t feeling myself because I was dealin with a lot that month. Next thing I know I blurt out something about my friend (the one with the party and who was there) and we just kept getting pressured by our friends to do stuff. So after that whole thing he stopped talking to me. I lost my best friend and I went through the second worst thing of my life. But after all that, after saying that one thing to him messin up my friendship for a guy I met three times, I still can’t get him out of my mind. I get butterflies seeing his name
    I can’t forget about our good memories and how happy he did make me in such a short time. And the worst part is that I know that he isn’t thinking about me hell I think he’s avoiding me and he even replaced me with my two best friends. I still can’t let him go.

  6. ReplyNagisa

    I had a crush on my senior but both of us were the same age. I went a year late in college. First of we met in the school cca fiesta. First of all i just treated him as a friend. I got to know him more. My feelings grew stronger. I was happy being with him. He was happy and mutural down to earth guy. As the day goes by he held my hand. We dated in school after hours. We were madly in love. We shared everything together. We were not the type of couple that takes pictures like normal people do but just cherish our moments together with happy memories. We were official but unofficial to others. As months went by we didnt see each other due to exams. Our distance grew a part hard to make in contact. I felt worried. But one day, it all changed he stoped seeing me leaving me with confusion in my mind like are you mad at me questions like that running in my mind. I asked him why are you mad at me. Ignorance only felt, leaving me doubts theres something wrong. As the days goes by, we just saw each other and didnt say a word. Looking from a far, reading each other’s tweets but replying to each tweet mention but not revealing our names. I just felt that i thought silence was the meaning of End of Friendship. As the last day occurs, he was by my side the whole time. We just smiled and when it’s time to go home With me putting on a fake smile turning around to go off. Whisphering to the air softyly goodbye… Thus, its sad letting go even though both parties still have feelings for each other. By all means i still can’t move on. I feel that the goodbye part was the break up scene for me as it felt painful and remorseful leaving the person you loved the most.

    1. Replymanns

      i fell in love with a girl at my work place, v 2gether work in same office chamber, as day passed its almost 6 months i’m in love with her. but she dont love me, she treat me as a close friend and recenttly her wedding has been fixed… i said her i love her badly, cant forget her, she say tat she will convert my love into friend… but i knw its nt possible…. but she keeps comforting me, saying that she treat me like her close friend, but its not possible for me to forget her… daily i try 2 b like friends with her but u knw tat its not happening im getting same feelings… i dont know wat 2 do her marriage is near, even im not able 2 propose her for marriage coz im in begining for my career, before 6 month back i completed my master degree… daily i come 2 office when im seeing her face i get same feelings, im trying 2 be as friend but its difficult, how can one see his love becoming another person soulmate, 7 month left for her marriage i really dont knw how 2 spend days in office with her, << guys please help me out here…i dont knw wat 2 do… please give me ur advice…..

  7. ReplyAmandA

    I just had a crush on a guy in my church. At first, I do not have any intentions because he just broke up with his first love. I was trying to comfort him and encourage him to stand up again as a sister in christ. Somehow, I feel i’m not strong enough and I drawed myself into a very special feeling. We started to share whenever we had in our life. I was really sure of my feeling..I fall in love with him although he is younger than me. Because of this reason, I always holding back my feeling many times.

    Everyday, we are shared what we have gone through and supporting each other. Anyhow, one day he shared to me he had a crush on a girl. At that moment, I still do not have any feeling of being pain yet and I keep one encouraging him to move on chasing the girl he like. I’m offering myself to help him to chase for this girl as I know her. Yet, I still do not feel anything until he asked me, “why are you so good to me?” …his question woke me up, oh ya…why??I started to feel the pain…I did not answered him as our conversation goes by until he suddenly said, “I’m sorry if I hurt you”…oh gosh, I feel the cracked in my heart and it was really really pain…yet I still giving encouragement to him.
    From the day on, whatever he had in his feeling toward the girl, he is sharing with me. And everytime, I will feel my heart being stabbed. The pain is like attacking you daily, anytime, anywhere…
    When he failed and rejected, he shared to me…I felt sad for him as the girl is trying many method to stay away from him. When he is pain, I felt myself feeling the pain too.
    I do not know why, sometimes I really feel tired and disappointed…he try to get to know the girl he like through me by knowing how she lived…living for good or other way.
    I complaint to myself, why I’m not loving myself and letting my heart in pain. I try workout jogging, but my mind is all about him…i even switch off my phone, wanting to stop myself to have the feeling of awaiting his texting. The more i draw further, the more pain my heart is.
    Now, I’m using God’s way to heal my heart by having faith in my prayer. I met him in God’s kingdom…same worship team, same passion for God, we prayed together, we shared together. I really hope He will make way. Amen


    1. Author
      ReplySally Webb

      Women are emotional. The fact that you started sharing details about your life would easily draw you close to this guy. But one question for you is, why is it that you never tried to see if it’s possible for you and him to start a relationship? I know, maybe it’s the fact that he is younger than you…but that doesn’t cut it. Heaps of people are going out with younger guys and they’re happy.

      Maybe there is something about him that you somehow know – you just know – is not for you. Maybe you actually know somewhere in your heart…that if you’re being honest to yourself, this relationship between him and you is probably not gonna work.

      In that case, the hurt that you start feeling may only be a temporary feeling of loss… the fact that you know, if he one day really goes out with someone, you may not be as close to him because yes, man and woman can’t be too close of a friend before creating troubles.

      So think about it that way, think of him as a little brother to you and instead of living your life around him and this girl he has a crush on, owe it to yourself that you need to find your own happiness.

    2. ReplyJohn

      You are an angel… You could understand a person.
      Pray for me as well. I m really hurt and heartbroken.
      Regards
      John

  8. Replyzoe

    I have such a big crush to a boy (was…now he’s a man) for 13 years, since my first grade of junior high school…still don’t know how to forget him..I mean, he never likes me and always ignore me..but why do I still totally into him >,<

    hope that I can forget him this year…

  9. ReplyBrittany

    This did help. My bf (of one day) but I had had a crush on him for like four months. He asked me out and I said yes…then he texted me saying I think we should just be friends. 🙁

    So yeah i’m just…sad. But everything happens for a reason right?

  10. ReplyMartin

    Over the past summer I met the girl of my dreams, thire was only 1 problem she lived 2hrs away…. We would talk on the phone and text day and night… She would call me when she couldnt sleep or when ever.
    Every thing was perfect…. I asked her out and she said that we should wait a bit because she didn’t wanna rush things… I took it very well I though that surely one day we’d be together. As the summer progressed I tried to go visit her… I only saw her 3 times that summer. Suddenly she wouldn’t be into me as much is send her 3 texts n I’d only gt a one word answer back. I no in my heart that I love her till this day. It’s bin over a year now. I’ve contacted her… And she says that one say I’ll all go back to normal and that she loves me. This has bin my first love and idk how or what to do to forget her…

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