Author: Sally Webb
This is one article I wrote that has a little to do with the actual dating, but a lot to do with the foundation of dating. I have been asked by a few people “How to forget someone you still really like”, most of the time the question relates to the ex whom they still have a clear picture of in their mind, or the person who they’ve started dating (or are dating) who pretty much has just left them for any reason (somebody else, things not working out, and the worst of all: just gone missing without a trace – AWOL).
I also realise that many times when this question is asked, the answer you are hoping for is really beyond the normal “get busy, take time out, let time heals it etc”. Most people who ask this question are feeling some kind of emotional pain rooted somewhere in their heart or mind that they can’t concentrate on any task given to them. Normally this pain happens on the first few hours they ‘get dumped’ or ‘felt like they’ve lost someone’, or whom they finally got the courage to ‘leave’.
Of course, I must tell you that there is no ‘super quick fix’ that will completely take away the hurt right now, despite I always look for one whenever I feel hurt by people close to me (romantic or not). In fact, there is no such thing as the quick ‘how to forget someone you still really like or love’, because it is impossible to forget something that has happened in the past (whether it is a minute ago, weeks or months ago).
But what you can do though, is to get over the painful hurt feeling as quickly as possible so that you can survive the hurt, able to concentrate on your days, and most importantly move on with your life whether you want to get back to dating scene with a more ‘ready’ mind, or just move on with your life without feeling the hurt anymore.
So here are some things that you can do:
1. Accept the fact that you are hurt, and accept that there is no quick fix, that there is a process to forget someone.
Yes this is the easiest thing to do that you have to start accepting that there is nothing you can do to make the hurt go away right this second. Especially, if you feel like you don’t have anyone else to talk to because the person you count on is really the person who hurts you.
2. Do something physical ON YOUR OWN
When I said ‘on your own’, I meant ‘on your own’. There is no need to pretend you can forget things in your mind by talking to others. You need a ‘me time’ right now or in the next 24 hours. Of course, you will feel so bad that you are taking it in for yourself, but trust me it will numb your hurt painful emotion quicker. So do something physical such as jogging while listening to inspirational music, lock yourself in your room and sleep for the next six hours, playing music instrument, singing karaoke as loud as you can, bowling on your own, shooting range (if time and place permits), shooting basketball or just anything physical on your own – you get the idea. (In fact, I knew a lady who did bungee jumping ten times in a row just to forget someone she just broke up with.)
3. Writing a blog or a diary – both online and offline
If reading articles such as this one will take up some of your mind space, writing blog entries or diary entries will actually make it even better. It is one of the most effective and quickest method on how to forget someone, or forget the hurt you get from that someone. Write exactly how you feel, write about how you survive this whole thing. Before you know it, your strong urge earlier of wanting to call that person right at that moment will slowly subside. You will soon feel calmer and able to function a little bit more.
4. Beyond this, time will heal
Yes, it’s time for me to mention that the best thing on how to forget someone you like is still to give it time. However, it helps if you stop focusing on contacting them in the meantime. In fact, try to minimise contact (no contact is even better) so that you can move on with your life quicker.
Also, I came across this information on the web the other day, How to Forget Your Ex in just 24 Hours, VERY interesting. Check it out for yourself!
In fact, reading it alone helped me go through the first few crucial hours of trying to move on. Get How to Forget Your Ex in just 24 Hours and read it as soon as you can.
P.S. I also recommend the book “It’s called a break-up because it’s broken” by Greg Behrendt – he’s my favourite author so far.
Posted in The Complicated Dating
that was a great help thank you so much
I just turned 27. i fell inlove with this guy who is a year older than me, who happens to be married already. for two years weve been together. we live next to each other, we work in the same place. Literally for two years we do things together. We both fell in love with each other. Until his wife came when the petition was granted.
It was like my world stopped spinning, it hurts me sooooo bad that i can hardly explain it.
Even before we decided to stop it, we just can’t. But because of our culture, his parents wants to cut it and cut it clean. For them it is prohibited and immoral. And it would ruin their reputation.
And him… he followed them . He never fought for me. He kept sending messages after that for more than a week. but the bottom line is…he still chose her…their reputation.
its me who he chose to get hurt.
Right now im trying to put the pieces back but it seems so unbearable everyday of my life.
I go out.. i party…but at the end of the day. I cant stop crying still.
tats awesome….
there is a boy that i liked him for 4 months but he don’t like me back so i always get hurt and cry for him and never stop thinking about him so i try all the ways to be soo close to him i think may be he’ll like me one day but now i think that he don’t deserve to be liked so i wake up and now I’m moving on without hurt but it’s still a part from me missing him a little
what a bauitufel post Polly! Thank you for the reminder – I think this is something everyone struggles with from time to time!
hi
Hi! You help me a lot.Thank you!
will it work if i dont talk to this person or i ignore him/her